Alarming Stories
Alarming Stories III Part 1 - Enjoy a few snippets from my book below
What Safe?
One of our most memorable clients was a fish and chip restaurant located in Bradford. One fine Saturday morning, the owner called me in a panic to inform me that they had fallen victim to a break-in and needed the alarm system repaired. As I drove to the site, my imagination ran wild with what I might find, but little did I know just how outrageous the situation would turn out to be.
Upon arrival, the scene before me was nothing short of comical chaos. The phone lines had been mercilessly cut, the back door had been kicked in, demanding a brand new door installation. To my astonishment, I discovered the control panel, ripped off from the wall, sitting in the deep pot washing sink, which had been inexplicably filled with water. As if that weren't enough, the external sounder had been filled with builders foam spray, and to top it all off, the safe was nowhere to be found.
With determination, I reached into the sink and pulled the plug, causing the water to swiftly drain away. The control panel, still squawking away in its alarm state, seemed unfazed by its aquatic adventure. Just as I was contemplating my next move, the customer leaned over me, confidently entered his PIN number, and magically silenced the panel. It was an older model, and unfortunately, I didn't have a spare on hand that day. So, I resorted to drying out the soaked control panel and reinstalled it as a temporary solution. Surprisingly, it worked perfectly fine, talk about going above and beyond the call of duty.
Time passed, and one day Peter called me into the office, wearing a perplexed expression on his face. He explained that his brother's eldest son had been apprehended by the police for driving a stolen car. In an attempt to claim ownership of the vehicle, the young lad had initially lied but couldn't recall the car's registration plate number. To make matters worse, the police officers noticed that the car was noticeably low at the back suspension. They kindly asked the boy to open the boot, and to their astonishment, they discovered a massive safe weighing over a ton inside. When questioned about the origin of the safe, the young lad innocently replied, "What safe?", it was now apparent and embarrassing that the restaurant had been burgled by a relative.
Whitley Bay pub
As we entered the bar, it was impossible to miss the vibrant energy that filled the air. The space was bustling with people enjoying themselves, laughter echoing through the room. The first thing that caught our attention was the sight of the girls behind the bar, all dressed in swim suits. It was a unique and somewhat surprising sight, as if a beach party had somehow migrated indoors.
Among the group of girls, there was one in particular who stood out. She possessed a remarkable figure, her ample curves accentuated by the skimpy bikini she wore. Her presence exuded a captivating aura, catching the eyes of many patrons in the bar. It was difficult not to notice her, and John was no exception.
Curiosity and a touch of mischievousness took hold of John as he decided to wait for this particularly alluring girl to serve him. He found himself drawn to her undeniable charm and wanted to engage in a playful interaction. So, with a sly smile, he patiently awaited her attention.
Finally, the moment arrived as she sauntered over to where John was seated. Leaning on the counter with an amused glint in her eyes, she asked him what he desired. John, seizing the opportunity to match her cheekiness, responded with a hint of humour in his voice, "I'll have anything from the bottom shelf, please."
Hayes food distribution
One day, as we were diligently working on the Guardwire installation near the perimeter fence, a small helicopter descended and gracefully landed in the adjacent car park. The arrival of the helicopter attracted the attention of several directors and senior managers, who eagerly gathered around. To our surprise, the passenger-side door of the helicopter was removed, making way for a cameraman to occupy the seat. A sturdy bar was then secured across the open doorway, and a thermal camera was mounted onto it.
With everything in place, the helicopter gracefully ascended into the sky, guided by the cameraman who skilfully captured footage from various angles. It embarked on a thrilling display of loops, dives, and manoeuvres, showcasing the capabilities of both the pilot and the camera operator. The entire site became a stage for their aerial performance.
Once the exhilarating flight was over, it was time for the directors and managers to take their turn. After a series of take-offs and landings without incident, the helicopter returned to the ground. However, as the manager who had just experienced the flight opened the door, a wave of sickness overcame him, forcing him to his knees. Pale and visibly unwell, he struggled to maintain his composure.
Concerned, one of the directors approached the pilot, seeking an explanation for the manager's sudden bout of illness. The pilot calmly responded, revealing that the manager had asked what would happen if the helicopter's motor were to fail. In response to his query, the pilot had decided to demonstrate the effects of such a scenario during the flight, which evidently had an unsettling impact on the manager's stomach.
Monday morning in the office
It was the first Monday back after Christmas, suddenly everyone was much more carful around Rose, one engineer went outside to dispose of his flatulence, and everyone was bien especially polite. Later I asked what was going on, you were there at the Christmas Eve drinks in the pub, came the reply, yes but I had to leave early I reminded, the tale continued, Rose, whilst playing pool had been heckled by someone she knew about her husband, in a packed pub she took offence and gave the heckler a huge slap across the face, the resounding slap was heard throughout the pub and knocked the recipient off his feet. You definitely did not want to be the recipient of one of those, he explained.
QE2 Crown Court curry
Installing a new remote witness CCTV solution for child victims testimony. Power and 5Amp round pin socket had to be installed for three monitors on the judges desk, one monitor in each of the prosecution and defence desks and a camera, microphone and monitor in the designated witness testimony room, we were progressing well but by 9pm we were tired and hungry. We ordered a curry takeout to be delivered to the court, at first the restaurant thought we were taking the piss, but we persuaded that to deliver and half an hour later, they arrived. The clerk on the front desk was a bit taken aback, however they buzzed us and we collected the food.
So we found ourselves in Crown Court, with a curry takeaway, what would you do in the circumstances, yes you guessed correctly, we sat in the judges chairs and ate the takeaway on the judges bench, then put the cartons in the bins under the bench.
We completed the installation, the floor and carpet had been re-laid, the monitors were all working and we signed out at 6am on Monday. The court sat at 10am and I am certain they must have been able to smell the curry,
Image copyright https://manchesterhistory.net/architecture/1980/queenelizabeth.html
Philip Wilkinson
I am currently the owner and Managing Director of a security devices distribution company. Online Security Products Limited. We offer a range of parts, everything from CCTV to Door Entry, Access Control and Intruder.
